Hanging out with a few of my nieces and nephews.
Throughout my life, I’ve always been friends with people that are older than me. It just worked out that way. I met my fiancé when I was really young, and he’s two years older than me. So all of his friends would’ve been older as well.
Growing up, this tended to be awesome for me. I hung around with older kids, and got to do “cool” older kid stuff. I wasn’t afraid to graduate from high school and step into the “unknown”. I knew all about University when I got there because I’d spent the last two years visiting my boyfriend there.
Now that I’m out of school, I spend a lot of time with family. They are honestly some of the most fun and kind people I’ve met, and some of my very best friends. The thing is, they’re a lot older than me. My fiancé is one of the youngest in his family, and I’m one of the youngest in mine.
Because of the large age difference, I’ve always felt…behind. Like I’m somehow not as far along in life as I’m supposed to be. This is pretty normal, when you’re the only person in your social group that hasn’t achieved certain milestones, like home ownership or children. When I was in University, it seemed like all of my sisters-in-law were settling down, buying homes and having kids. Now that I’m done school, most of my family on both sides is firmly settled down in their homes, and their kids are fast approaching school age!
Meanwhile, I’m renting a tiny little house, and struggling to get out from under a massive pile of debt. Home ownership is a distant blip on the horizon, and child rearing (if I choose to go that route) isn’t visible at all.
Even in the PF blogosphere, I’m definitely one of the youngest bloggers I know. Everyone seems to be much further along on their financial journey than I am. Every time I open up my Feedly reader it seems like someone new is buying a home, or paying off their debts once and for all.
I’m Actually Ahead of the Game
Then I remember, as my fiancé so kindly reminds me, that I’m pretty damn far along for the average 23 year old, and comparing myself to a bunch of people older than myself isn’t going to do me any good.
I’ve got a degree that makes me pretty employable, I’ve got a job that is allowing me to add a ton of transferable skills to my resume. I’m almost out of debt, and I’m getting married to the absolute love of my life in three weeks. Not bad for 23 years old.
Learning to Stop Comparing
Comparing yourself to other people almost never ends well. There’s just too much we don’t know about what’s going on behind closed doors. We all do it. You might not be comparing yourself to your siblings like I do. Your vice might be the chick down the hall from your cubicle who somehow manages to show up in a new outfit every single day. You might be super jealous of her and think of how lucky she is. What you don’t know is that she’s financing her shopping addiction on a low interest credit card.
Learning to Be Optimistic
Sometimes I catch myself in this really negative thought pattern: “Man, I’m only 23. I’m never going to be able to afford a house, a vacation every year, or two cars. How do people do that?”
Instead, I need to change that conversation. I need to think “Man, I’m only 23! I’m almost out of debt and I’ve got a good seven years before I really need to worry about settling down and buying a house. I’ve got so much time to establish an awesomely solid financial footing, a 20% down payment, and travel a ton!”
Being around a certain group of people, when you don’t perfectly fit in with them, can warp your world view a little. I need to remember that for someone my age, I’ve got my shh together.
Do you ever catch yourself trying to keep up with your group of friends? I want to know!